... and I think the only one that will listen to me is you (computer).
I'm tired. I think I got the worst of the bug this week- I've had a sore throat since Wednesday morning, chills and fever since Thursday, and really all I could do was lay in bed since then. I even got so sick of laying in bed because my body hurt from laying down! TV, books, magazines, were no consolation. It hurt to even open my eyes some days. And I lost my voice. (for those of you that know me, that is a big deal.)
All the while, Tophe got sick too. He didn't want to admit that it might be worthy of a doctor's visit, until Sunday. So he was down for the count, and has needed to be nursed back to health. Then E got sick, and now J.... now I don't mind so much being a nurse-mommy. I don't. When my kids (and hubby) are sick, the only thing I want is for them to get better, to be comfortable, to know they're cared for and loved.... so I do what I can to make that so. Just think back to when you were a kid, how much you just wanted that TLC from your mom when you were sick. So I don't mind it.
BUT WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF ME?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!!!
It sounds super selfish and I know it, but I really feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I've had to give when I haven't had much energy to give. I've had to get up out of bed, make that soup or that sandwich.... when all I wanted to do was just lay down and sleep.
So Monday rolls around, and I thought perhaps E might go to school today, because he's been on meds for 48 hours and has been fever-free. Well when J woke up with a 105 temp, that was all I could deal with, not running my son to school. So, I kept him home today too. One less thing to deal with, right? I forget, that when Toph, who is also home sick, he is pretty much out of commission. He's been laying around all day. As he should because he has to go back to work!!! So it's been me, all day, running J to the doctor, serving lunch, etc etc.
Until now. I have about 1 1/2 hours of complete silence during a mandatory nap for the entire house. But people outside of the home have been calling, e-mailing, needing something. The rest of my life is calling.
It is tough to be the Mommy sometimes. I wish I could call my mommy.....
Comments (2)
oh jos..i have no words to make any of it better...but please know that you are heard. Love you.
I would totally call my mommy.... sometimes my mommy prefers not to know though.... but that's only because I tell her about EVERY bump and bruise and scrape.